Blooming

These words were penned in my journal about six months ago. Some thoughts on feeling lost and hopeless.

"I am a victim. A person caught up by the choices of others in a fury of a terrible storm. My life has been carried out in the riptide further away from the shore. I found myself in the middle of the sea, battered, exhausted, mouth full of salt, completely disoriented with no sense of the shore. For a long time my body just lay staring upwards pondering the current state of my existence. How did I get to this place? Why didn’t my desire to overcome the current cause me to swim? I was paralyzed yet teaming pools of energy bounced around my heart. When would I be able to move?"

The purpose of the blog is to show my journey through pain. I have come a long way from the start of my journey, but I am still in the process of walking through the valley of the shadow of death and darkness. When I started this journey several years ago, a trusted advisor told me that maybe I should write things down, press into the pain and search it with tenacity and see what treasures God reveals to me in the darkness.
Although I am not always currently in the places that I write of in these blogs, the sting of these painful places remains fresh. I feel comfortable sharing this process now, without danger of remaining lost in my own unhappy situation. These words can be confusing and disturbing at times, but I still see value in sharing the suffering of a child. These stories are allegorical, yet representative of the happenings within my journey towards a solid identity.
If these words are not confusing to you, and if these stories are also representative to your current situation, please feel free to contact me for a listening non-judgemental ear.

I believe that am sharing my rarest treasure from the darkeness: a flower blooming in adversity. I hope this beauty emerges and remains.


Comments

  1. NancyDecember 26, 2012 at 9:12 AM

    I love and pray for you! We serve a mighty (big)God.
    Love ya, Mom

    ReplyDelete

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