Treasure of Blindness
Many great changes have erupted in my self-assured world of convenience. The world that never changed but slowly moved its shape in order to avoid one's eye to register, and thus process the intentions of the prison chamber. This deep chasm that slowly grew around myself into the gravel walls, with doors. Only recently had a door begun to expose its edge to help jump start the mind into the past of progression of the cell chamber. Soon every day more doors emerged around my place, where ever the place existed of un-tethered lights. An existence truly unaware of timeline or space or progression, fogged by the inability to distinguish shapes. A world without order, yet full of light. The brief flash of this state of being seems very distant, unhelpful, and rather unsettling. I remember the brevity of this state and then the full chamber before the recent happenings began to unveil the door.
Fire. A blazing inferno with a young woman inside with her back to me, staring out into the horizon as if studying the movement of the flames currents, allowing their furry to splash on the feet in repeated waves. There was no movement from her or registration of the danger of the flames. I am there watching her beauty as she slowly turns side to side. A great alarm rise in me because I must save her yet my cries were not reaching her ears. In a flash I am right behind her, transported miles in a blink, able to reach out to her and touch her back. A deep tremor comes through my body bounding out of the depths of me. The panic seizes my mind and I squeal out to her to "get back, watch out, you're not safe". This convulsion erupted from my body. Looking at my outstretched arm I realize I am on fire, bursting forth from underneath my skin the lava magnum begins to change my skin as steel in the factory. Terrified, I look up to the woman and she begins to whistle a tune: a bubbly melody rising and falling like the moon tide stirring the gentle pools. This tune grips me with greater terror as the robust melody registers as ignorance, pain in my ears. Knowing that my body would soon be gone and my reserve decimated, I jumped forth, lunging for the woman. Almost able to reach her; the depth of my convulsions explode from deep within and I crash to the floor.
I am sharply ripped awake with vomit streaming from my mouth leaving my body to doubled over. The waves of nausea grip my senses, making my entire self extremely aware of the imbalance, confusion, sweats, and shakes. A sharp pang knives into my head, and reaching my hand toward my forehead, my wince does not ease the sting. Able to begin to cross from the dream world to the reality of my own stench in my cell chamber around me. I see the cell unchanged from its previous state. There are no new lights, no letters, no earthquake or evidence of any damage from one, nothing more is exposed on the door. Nothing had changed from my previous state of musings and I retrace the path of my mind. Doors, I had thought of several doors, yet I only see one door. I do distinctly remember the plural nature of my thought and the bizarre nature of my surroundings contrasted to the state of light, and the woman in the dream. The extreme conflicting emotions of my views of her and my eventual expulsion from the fire. I felt the panic rise in my being and I decided to look only at the lights and put everything out of my mind. Doors, why the plural? Yet it was true. Panic settled into my chest creating labored breathing and the return of the shaking. Needing to put these conflicting buggers to bed, my mind scavengers for a suitable distraction. The lights were bright and cheerful; as they were before, but they bring no comfort to my senses. Dragging my body from the prone proved difficult, but managing to sit and then find a cloth and water to clean up the waste from my dream deemed a solution I was comfortable with to put behind me the bewilderment of my dichotomous reality. I thought it better to be blind to the changes for a while to save my strength for another day.
Fire. A blazing inferno with a young woman inside with her back to me, staring out into the horizon as if studying the movement of the flames currents, allowing their furry to splash on the feet in repeated waves. There was no movement from her or registration of the danger of the flames. I am there watching her beauty as she slowly turns side to side. A great alarm rise in me because I must save her yet my cries were not reaching her ears. In a flash I am right behind her, transported miles in a blink, able to reach out to her and touch her back. A deep tremor comes through my body bounding out of the depths of me. The panic seizes my mind and I squeal out to her to "get back, watch out, you're not safe". This convulsion erupted from my body. Looking at my outstretched arm I realize I am on fire, bursting forth from underneath my skin the lava magnum begins to change my skin as steel in the factory. Terrified, I look up to the woman and she begins to whistle a tune: a bubbly melody rising and falling like the moon tide stirring the gentle pools. This tune grips me with greater terror as the robust melody registers as ignorance, pain in my ears. Knowing that my body would soon be gone and my reserve decimated, I jumped forth, lunging for the woman. Almost able to reach her; the depth of my convulsions explode from deep within and I crash to the floor.
I am sharply ripped awake with vomit streaming from my mouth leaving my body to doubled over. The waves of nausea grip my senses, making my entire self extremely aware of the imbalance, confusion, sweats, and shakes. A sharp pang knives into my head, and reaching my hand toward my forehead, my wince does not ease the sting. Able to begin to cross from the dream world to the reality of my own stench in my cell chamber around me. I see the cell unchanged from its previous state. There are no new lights, no letters, no earthquake or evidence of any damage from one, nothing more is exposed on the door. Nothing had changed from my previous state of musings and I retrace the path of my mind. Doors, I had thought of several doors, yet I only see one door. I do distinctly remember the plural nature of my thought and the bizarre nature of my surroundings contrasted to the state of light, and the woman in the dream. The extreme conflicting emotions of my views of her and my eventual expulsion from the fire. I felt the panic rise in my being and I decided to look only at the lights and put everything out of my mind. Doors, why the plural? Yet it was true. Panic settled into my chest creating labored breathing and the return of the shaking. Needing to put these conflicting buggers to bed, my mind scavengers for a suitable distraction. The lights were bright and cheerful; as they were before, but they bring no comfort to my senses. Dragging my body from the prone proved difficult, but managing to sit and then find a cloth and water to clean up the waste from my dream deemed a solution I was comfortable with to put behind me the bewilderment of my dichotomous reality. I thought it better to be blind to the changes for a while to save my strength for another day.
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